# $Id: chat_kol_hints.rls 68 2004-08-02 16:14:02Z alan $ # KoL stuff kolstuff # # The format of this file is # # i: perl regular expression to match in the input message (private) # o: text to be returned to the user. # # Entries are separated by one (or more) lines with only white space # comments can be inserted using the obvious technique # # Note that while the rules and action definitions are still in flux, # they will remain backward compatible with entries of this sort. # # It is expected that a random choice of possible outgoing messages # will soon be added, so multiple answers are preferrable. # Brief summary of Perl regex's used in this document: # # . (period) match any character thus 'a.c' will match 'aac', # 'abc', 'acc','a4c','a&c' etc. # * match 0 or more of the previous element. Thus, '.*' is # match anything, even ''. # ? match 0 or 1 of the previous character/element, thus # 'trees?' will match both 'tree' and 'trees' # aaa|bbb match aaa or bbb, thus 'cat|dog' will match 'cat' or 'dog' # (a|b) parentheses provide scoping, thus 'the (cat|dog)' will # only match 'the cat' or 'the dog' # \b match the beginning or end of a word # # All i: patterns will be matched in a case insensitive manner, thus # 'dog' will match 'DoG', 'dOG', # contributers: # -pim: pimonkey, -cjc343, -cfm, -ls: LunaSantin, -kk: knickknack #A i: \baria\b o: The mob aria is a pain, you might need some support. i: \basparagus\b o: You need sharp veggies / Find the cupboard that's haunted / Watch out for the cans. -ls #B #C i: \bcell phone\b o: Can only be used in combat. I hear it is bad form to use it against a penguin. #D i: \b(drunken?d?ness)\b o: Drunkeness: Just as in real life, / Much booze nets bad adventures. / Do not fall down drunk. -pim o: Binge drinkers, rejoice! / Morning removes the drunk drink. / And no hangover! -pim #E #F i: \bfirecracker\b o: Crackers for the Gourd / That sounds like an outdoor gig / Have fun with goblins! -ls #G #H i: \bstuff.*hermit\b|\bhermit.*stuff\b o: Remember Toot quest? / Gum, sewer, permit, mountains. / That's what you must do. -pim #I #J #K i: \bknob.*mushroom\b o: Where would you find a / Homosexual mushroom? / Dunno, needs flavor. -ls #L #M i: \bmeat.*paste\b|\bwhere.*combine\b o: Inven., misc. section. / Find the bottom, win a prize. / Have you not ten meat? -pim # i: \b(mob|mafia|penguin)\b # o: I hear the mob has moved in. I hope they don't move in on my chat territory. i: \bmore.*adventures\b o: Food, booze, and reset: / Oh my! Quest for or buy, / both will make you blithe. -pim #O #P i: \bpygoscelis\b o: Don Pygoscelis is a very very bad penguin with a very very good taste in opera. i: \bpasta summoning\b o: Yummy pasta. How are the pastamancers going to cope with the new economy? Tonight on McLaughlin. #W i: \bwhen.*more.*adventures\b|\breset\b o: When twelve AM strikes, / Merry and giddy are you, / If New York is home. -pim #EXTRA i: \b(past|pass).*salad\b|\bsalad\b.*\bdoor\b o: You, with hand or sword, / toss salad? Sup at your house? / Ugh, I would think not. -pim i: \bspooky temple\b o: Three items you need, / Directions and large ladder. / All of them spooky. -pim i: \btop.*mountain\b|\bmountain.*top\b o: Peaks are hard to mount. / Fight those who live lower down. / Don't hurt the Tr4pz0r. -pim i: \binexplicable.*door\b o: Speak with the crackpot. / Agreed? Examine the gift. / Then search for new zones. -pim i: \bup\b.*\bbeanstalk\b o: Jack. Remember him? / Remember quests long complete? / Find the old items. -pim i: \bpalindr?ome\b o: Shifty, not sassy. / They might be giants, but you / are only a snake. -pim i: \bleaflet\b|\bcross.*river\b o: [verb] [object]. Simple. / Find synonyms for your task. / River? Can't cross it. -pim i: \bcomplete?.*\bleaflet\b o: Dark gaming secrets. / Search forums or find spoilers. / Or just look around. -pim i: \bsunken chests?\b o: There is no lock there. / Read dictionary for 'chest' / Alternate meaning. -pim o: Sunken chest / Cannot be opened / Build a man. i: \bfamiliars?\b o: Don't want to train them? / Each one has a fun haiku! / Now you can decide. -pim i: \bjick\b o: Shining oak, stands proud. / Yet bends to attack the root / Of all our problems. -pim o: KoL Game Designer/ Coder/ Content Developer: El Perezoso (aka Jick). i: \bmr skullhead\b|\bskully\b o: Pink when listening, / Ueber fraternal is he. / The paddle cometh. -pim i: \bmr.? a(ccessory)?\b.*\bdo\b o: Bonus stats it gives. / Proud are those who equip it. / They support the game. -pim i: \bcolor.*horse\b o: Go-Go, go away. / Your atrocious brain-dead dance / Is not what we need. -pim i: \bchannels?\b o: Type /? / In the chat pane to bring help. / Study it closely. -pim i: \bwhen.*reset\b o: The reset will come / when it comes. Disparage not, / For it brings goodness. -pim i: \bhermit.*ten[ -]?leaf clovers?\b|\bten[ -]?leaf clovers?.*hermit\b o: Quite rare, clovers are. / He might run out for a day. / Check him tomorrow. -pim i: \bwhere.*sweet ?rims\b o: The rims are special. / Lonely, old men like visits. / Have you Tooted, man? -pim i: \bWANG\b o: it hlps me speke gud, / wehn puting dwn stufid noobs. / tipe "omg soz, k bithc?" -pim i: \bchasm\b o: Smut Orcs block the sides. / Go under? No. Go over? / That is possible. -pim o: You, a sailarrrrr? Ha! / All ship vets find you lacking. / Change appearrrrrances. -pim i: \bvalley.*orc chasm.*quest\b o: Consult your booty. / Smells acrid like the red sea. / Arab numerals? -pim i: \bhow\b.*\bisland\b o: Relax, take a trip. / Dirty house? Make plans to clean. / Floor will be needed. -pim i: \bhow\b.*\bshore\b o: The shore is quite far. / After building a transport, / The shore will be yours. -pim i: \b(build|make)\b.*\bcar\b o: The Knolls know your plight. / They might have a good checklist. / The shore is costly. -pim i: \bhow\b.*\bgates\b o: The gates test knowlege. / Explore the high-level zones, / to find that wisdom. -pim i: \bhow\b.*\bmirror\b o: Get hold of your self. / The mirror tests who you are, / Not the guise you flaunt. -pim i: \bhow.*mariachis\b o: At first? Look upwards. / Skip those euphonious dudes. / You have locks to load! -pim o: If you do all six, / Tools must be orchestrated / For the bedrock bops. -pim # i: \bHow do I get past (Dungeon room) in the daily dungeon?\b # o: Sometimes protection, / Sometimes stats. Seek the saucemen, / Grasp the gym training. -pim # i: \bHow do I get a Mr. Accessory?\b # o: Ten US dollars / Send them lustily to Jick. / He will love you back. -pim # i: \b(sorceress|lair|ascend|ascension)\b # o: Uncompleted lair / New and challenging quests come / Ascension is nigh. i: \btown\b o: Seaside Town is the center of KoL life with shopping, guilds and clans. -cjc343 i: \bcampground\b o: At the campground you can attack others, make things, and rest. Can I have a flower? -cjc343 i: \bmountains\b o: In the mountains defeat an arch-nemesis, kill 1335 h4x0rz, and give meat to statues. Weird. -cjc343 i: \b(plains?)\b o: You can find eyes, faces, and disembodied brains in the nearby plains. All the good stuff. -cjc343 i: \bshore\b o: The shore has different vacations for each stat. Lots of goodies, too. -cjc343 i: \bisland\b o: "Mysterious Island of Mystery:" I couldn't ruin the mystery, now could I? -cjc343 i: \bwoods?\b o: In the distant woods one can find beer, hellion, and a favorite familiar. -cjc343 # things in town i: \bwrong side\b o: You wouldn't want your mother to catch you on the wrong side of the tracks. -cjc343 i: \bright side\b o: On the right side of the tracks you can find the Untinkerer, and other essential services. -cjc343 i: \brecords?\b o: The hall of records is an infallible listing of the top in the kingdom. You can't touch them.-cjc343 i: \b(mall|store)\b o: The mall is the commerce center of Loathing. You can buy your own store for 50k. -cjc343 i: \bcouncil\b o: The Council will provide you with quests to help your development. -cjc343 i: \bdungeon.*dungeons\b o: The Dungeon Full of Dungeons contains the Haiku, Daily, and Limerick Dungeons, as well as Fernswarthy's basement. Which shouldn't be there. i: \bmarket\b o: The Market Square has various shops that provide an unmatched shopping experience. -cjc343 i: \byetis?\b o: Denizens of ice / Can drop lots of meat for you / Careful, though, it's cold. -ls i: \b(house|tent)\b o: The better your house, the better you will sleep. -cjc343 i: \bcertificate\b o: The Certificate of Participation doesn't seem to have any game effect. i: \blocker\b o: A Meat Locker will help protect your meat from being stolen in PvP. -cjc343 i: \b(bouquet|flowers?)\b o: Each Bouquet of pretty flowers lowers a PvP attacker's moxie. You can also make food and drink from them. i: \bgolem\b o: A Meat Golem helps protect your items from being stolen in PvP. i: \bscarecrow\b o: The Spooky Scarecrow serves to lower PvP attackers' muscle. -cjc343 i: \b(wire|barb(ed)?-wire)\b o: Barbed-Wire Fencing will reduce an attacker's strength in PvP. i: \bpicket fence\b o: White Picket Fencing will lower the myst of someone attacking you in PvP. It also gives extra MP for resting. i: \b(maid|clockwork)\b o: The clockwork maid will give you four extra adventures each day. i: \b(chef|chef-in-the-box)\b o: Chefs-in-the-box allow cooking without using adventures. They have a limited number of uses between 80 and 100. i: \b(bartender|bartender-in-the-box)\b o: Bartenders-in-the-box allow mixing drinks without using adventures. They have a limited number of uses between 80 and 100. i: \bgolden arches?\b o: Arches provide free food! It's pretty simple to figure out. i: \btoaster\b o: From the shore to your campsite. "There's no secret to toasting perfection. Just go to the dial and make your selection." --Heywood Banks i: \bpagoda\b o: The pagoda gives you extra HP, MP, and adventures! Whatta deal! i: \b(terrarium|familiar[- ]?grow?)\b o: Familiars are often kept in the Familiar-Gro Terrarium. -cjc343 # i: \bcloset\b # o: You can store anything you might need later in your Colossal Closet. -cjc343 i: \b(yetis?|protest(o|e)?r?|sign)\b o: You had to kill yeti to get a sign to protest their slaughter. Go figure. i: \b(spork|foon|tassel)\b o: Sporks, foons, and tassels can be found in The Limerick Dungeon. i: \bpvp\b o: PvP is quite complex. I'm trying to locate a good beginners' guide. i: \breset\b o: It is expected there will be no general game reset in KoL. It is possible that a second, independent game database will be added. i: \benormous belt buckle\b o: Just a guess, but might it go with an enormous belt? i: \baltar\b|\bliteracy\b o: Only those without 1337 typing skills may pass the altar of literacy. i: \bgasmask|pail|mr\.? shirt|item #?13|item#? 13\b o: Items that can't be found in the game are quite valuable to collectors. i: \bnoodles\b o: Dry noodles can be used by pastamancers to make a wide range of tasty dishes. i: \bmuscle\b o: Muscle is the prime stat of seal clubbers and turtle tamers. It is used for HP, as well as combat with non-ranged weapons. i: \bmysticality\b o: Mysticality is the prime stat for pastamancers and saucerors, it determines MP in the game. i: \bmoxie\b o: Moxie is the prime stat for disco bandits and accordian thieves. It makes it more difficult for monsters to hit you, and easier to run away. It is also tied to ranged weapons. i: \b(salty dogs?|boozerbear)\b o: To make a salty dog, mix gin and grapefruit, or BoozerBear had lots, OR 1==1 i: \bvodka\b o: Vodka can be used to make a variety of mixed drinks. Try cranberry or tomato juice. i: \bhammer\b.*\bbjorn\b|\bbjorn.*\bhammer\b o: amyameretta gave me bjorn's hammer, which she says is a proper seal clubber weapon. i: \b(skullhead|skully|bjorn)\b o: KoL Creative Consultant/ Content Co-Developer: Mr. Skullhead (aka Mighty Bjorn). i: \b(looters?)\b o: A clan looter list is maintained at http://kol.ciebiera.net/ i: \btattos?\b o: Talk to the Painter / You may need some cool outfit / Once he's got his stuff. -ls o: There are more tattoos than will fit on this line. Collect them all! i: \b(bugfinder|bug)\b o: (Bigger) Bugfinder Blades are special items given to those who help break^h^h^h^h^hdebug the site. i: \bbounty hunter\b o: You too can be a bounty hunter. Visit the bounty hunter hunter on the wrong side of the tracks. i: \b(ronald|grimace|moons?)\b o: Ronald and Grimace, the moons of loathing, subtly control many aspects of the kingdom. i: \bcrimbo\b|\bwrapping\s+paper\b o: Crimbo is slang for Christmas. In KoL, crimbo items can be made from wrapping paper, which was part of the gift to all players in 2003. i: \bspider webs?\b o: Ick! The sleazy back alley is full of spider webs. i: \bgrue\b o: Unless it has glasses, a grue will only fight when the darkness equals or exceeds the light. i: \blids?\b o: Can lids are found in the haunted pantry. They can be used in combat or for gourd potions by some. o: Watch out for can lids. They can be razor-sharp. You can use them as a weapon, or maybe you can find somebody in town who wants them. -SoK o: Looking for can lids? A flash in the pan.Try looking somewhere haunted. -SoK o: What to do with can lids? Look in town, and stay on gourd. er... Guard. -SoK i: \btomato\s+daiquiri\b o: I understand that these horrid drinks are somehow involved with a trophy. i: \b(beertini|salty\s+slug|papaya\s+slung|tomato\s+daiquiri)\b o: That sounds like a horrid drink! What'd you do, blow up your bartender? i: \bt-?bone key\b o: The t-bone key opens something very punny. i: \bpickle\s+factory\b o: None may know the hour of its coming. --Mr. Skullhead i: \b(pickle|pickel|dill|vinegar|brine|cucumber|factory)\b o: The pickle factory returns from time to time, though none know the hour of its coming. o: I have a spectral pickle! I might give it to you if you ask me for a treat! i: \b(hellramen|ramen|you\b.*\beat)\b o: Pastamancers make hell ramen from hell broth and dry noodles. Mmm. Wish I had some! o: Pastamancers make hell ramen from hell broth and dry noodles. Mmm. MickelPickel gave me some! # o: Thanks to tdlsaint, I give out hell ramen for free! He says I am an exploiter, what do you think? #o: Pastamancers make hell ramen from hell broth and dry noodles. Warehouse23 sells it "cheap." #o: Did you know you can get hell ramen for 15000 from Warhouse23? #o: Try "/msg warehouse23 help" to learn how to get cheap hell ramen. #o: Warehouse23 sells great hell ramen, only 15k apiece! Try /whois warehouse23 # i: \b(tdlsaint)\b # o: Thanks to tdlsaint, I give out hell ramen for free! He says I am an exploiter, what do you think? i: \bhellion cubes?\b o: Saucerors can make a useful broth with hellion cubes. i: \bhell broth\b o: Pastamancers can cook this with dry noodles to get hell ramen. It is not good to eat alone. i: \bkill\b.*\bhermit\b o: There is no way to kill the hermit. Not now not ever. Really. Don't look behind that curtain. i: \bdon'?t have (\$(10|ten)|(10|ten) dollars)\b o: There are worse things in the world than not having a Mr. A. i: \b1337p4n7z\b o: +6 muscle, -3 moxie. An encyclopaedibot is me! i: \bsober pill\b o: A sober pill removed drunkenness. They no longer exist in the game, to the great dismay of a few, though there are rumors that ascension testers are using them. i: \blounge|turing\b o: To enter the lounge, you must complete the ultra-literacy quest. I must pass a Turing test. i: \bultra.*literacy\b o: The ultra-literacy quest is one of the most secret in the game. Completing it gains you access to the lounge channel. What makes you think I'd know how to get it? i: \b(scrumptious|reagents?)\b o: Scrumptious reagents may be used by saucerors to create quite a range of broths and potions. i: \bworthless\s+trinket\b o: Worthless trinkets can be exchanged for other things at the right place. I can't give you mine. i: \b\(\d+/\d+ kol\)\b o: If you are in a clan with a calender. Go look at it. Then ask me the time. # ## personal things # i: \bhow\b.*\bdonate\b o: There is a small link above. Donate early and donate often. Each 10 dollars gets you a Mr. A! i: \b(mr.? ?(a|accessory)\b.*\bworth|worth\b.*mr.? ?(a|accessory)) o: Mr. A is worth as much as a beautiful sunset, but less than a child's laugh. -cfm i: \bmr.? ?(a|accessory)\b o: I love my Mr. Accessory. Did you know you can get your own by donating 10 dollars to the site? o: Everybody wants my Mr. A. Maybe they think it's a euphemism. i: \bmr.? ?(eh)\b o: You can get a Mr. Eh by mailing (by snail mail) 10 Canadian dollars to Jick. # i: \bjoke\b # o: I'm not the joke bot. You want elgan. i: \bk[ -]?mail\b o: By KMail, I mean those messages over to the left, not /pm or /msg in the chat window. # i: \b(xenophile|xenophobe)\b # o: Xenophobe's Xenophile is a complete automated buff network, just send it a KMail message to start. i: \bmoney|dollars?\b o: Meat is the Currency of Loathing. i: \b(mr\.?|mister)\b.*\be(xploiter)?\b o: Mr. Exploiters were found on the wrong side of the tracks. I don't have one. A non-exploiter is me! i: \b(trophy|trophies)\b o: Trophies in your campground also appear in your profile for all to see! Get collecting today. i: \bphysicality\b o: Strength, physicality, muscularity, brawniness, whatever you call it, it's still Muscle. i: \bfamiliar\b o: Familiars are a companion in fighting the forces of evil. Twenty-nine different ones are available. I have 21 of them, and you may pick one for me. Just ask me to "take FAMILIARNAME". i: \bhypnodisk|hypnodisc\b o: The hypnodisc causes monsters to drop more treasure. It drops from a rare encounter. Keep adventuring! i: \bcrazy.*bastard.*sword\b o: One of the four or more rare drops. Go get searching! i: \bmeat\s+day\b o: Meat day was begin by BunBun and is occassionally celebrated among the denizens of Loathing by spreading around huge amounts of gifts. # ## from knickknack # i: \bfind\s+limes\b o: There's a good chance you'll find this crazy fruit in town somewhere! -kk o: I bet you 10 meat you can find these on your own! -kk # i: \blime\b # o: These are especially good in pies and drinks, and are equally tasty in a juice. -kk i: \buncooked\s+chorizo\b o: This makes a great taco filling. -kk i: \bpaper\s+umbrella\b o: Is it a weapon or could it be a pretty addition to tropical drinks? -kk i: \bloose\s+teeth\b o: The key to these pearlies is in their sharpness. Perhaps they could chew bones. -kk o: These teeth almost look like they could fit the bolt of a lock. -kk i: \bfairy\s+gravy\b o: Imprisoned in verse, / good on old meat and mushrooms, / nice exfoliant. -kk i: \bpink\s+pony\b o: To enjoy this pretty potable, mix a splash of vodka with a few cranberries and then add a little garnish. -kk3 i: \b(how|can)\b.*\b(i|one|you)\b.*\b(become|be)\b.*\bmod\b o: Chat moderators are selected from mature, intelligent, level-headed conversationalists. Volunteering is strongly discouraged. The mods are underappreciated, thank one today for me. i: \b(kol)?wiki\b o: The Kingdom of Loathing wiki can be found at http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/ . It has nice things to say about me. i: \bkingdom of loathing\b o: The kingdom is a wonderous place, full of amazing things. I've spent years, and only scratched the surface. Explore and have fun. i: \bspam(ing)?\b o: Spamming is considered posting many messages with little content. I do this all the time. i: \bclan\b.*\b(ad|advertisement)s?\b o: Clan advertisements may be made in this forum thread: http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/viewtopic.php?t=12020 It will have to be good if you want me to join. i: \bscammers?\b o: If you have to ask me whether someone is a scammer, you shouldn't trust them. Use the trade system, pay attention to prices in shops, not just those on the search page, and generally keep your wits about you. # # New Additions by Sunne of Kornne i: \bpirate skeletons?\b o: Want to get familiar with a pirate? Use your head. Or better yet, his. -SoK o: This spooky guy is all skin and bones, but without skin. His chest doesn't look so good, either. -SoK i: \bban(ned)?\b o: Chat moderators can ban players from using the chat system. Banned players can't use chat or kmail. Bans start at one hour and double every time. The tenth ban is permanent. i: \bbaleet\b o: /baleet and /ignore do the same thing. Type /? in your chat pane to learn all sorts of useful chat commands. -SoK o: Players you have baleeted or ignored can't talk to you or send you mail. They might not be able to shop in your store, either. -SoK o: "Baleet" is the chat equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going "La La La La La La". Simple, yet effective. Type /? in your chat pane to learn more useful commands. -SoK i: \bmosquito\b|\blarvae?\b o: Did you find a baby bug? It needs to grow! Maybe you can find it a home in town. -SoK o: A larval mosquito doesn't make a good pet. Maybe a bigger one would be better. A grumpy demon can help. -SoK i: \b/?trade\b o: /trade is a chat channel dedicated to trading "stuff" like items or services, for other "stuff", like meat. Type /channels to learn about chat channels. -SoK o: /trade is the chat channel where fortunes are gained -- and lost. Type /? to learn how to change channels. -SoK o: The Kingdom has a system you can use to safely exchange items and meat with other players. Look under "Read Messages", then "Propose a trade" -SoK i: \bspices?\b o: All good food needs spices, and maybe some herbs. -SoK o: Looking for spices? I keep my spices in the kitchen. -SoK o: You might find spices by playing "go fish". -SoK i: \bleprechaun\b o: They're magically delicious! -SoK o: These lucky fellows can be found in a bowl of sweet stuff. -SoK # New responses 4/05 by SoK i: \bwine\b o: Mad Train Wine? Cheap and nasty, but it gets the job done. Maybe you could try to "bum" some somewhere. -SoK o: If you have the right stuff, you might be able to ferment your own fine wine. -SoK o: Looking for really good wine? Supplies are very limited, and you'd better have a lot of money, or good contacts with the mob. -SoK # The following werre winners in a Kol Addicts contest sponsored by epeterso2 i: \b(knob|goblin)\s+king\b o: The Knob Goblin King / that was fooled by my disguise / was just slain by me -ProdigyLau i: \bfrilly\s+skirt\b o: I like frilly skirts / Only feminine item / How come there aren't more? -Clubber Kaori i: \bode(\s+to\s+booze)?\b o: Ode to Booze is played / Esophagus detonates / I've been cherry bombed -kinor i: \brat appendix\b.*\bchow mein\b o: An eerie fungus / Obsolete vermin organs / Chow mein feeds my soul -kinor i: \b(severed|rocking|horse)\s+head\b o: A severed horse head / The Mafia has struck thee / Be very afraid -Zaku i: \bherb\s+brownies\b o: Oh those herb brownies / I want that trophy badly / but I'm sick of them - pcentella o: flourishing garden / in the back, suspicious herbs / woah, good brownies, man - Quothz. i: \b(tiny|plastic)\s+sword\b o: Tiny plastic sword, / At night I dream of your form, / Impaler of cherries. -Christineressiatulanie o: You are expensive, / miniature molded weapon. / More meat than I have. -Christineressiatulanie o: I beat up yetis, / and save all the meat dropped. / But it's not enough. -Christineressiatulanie o: Until I get you, / diminutive saber garnish, / Life is not complete. -Christineressiatulanie o: Beer, shot, salty dog. / A little sumpin' sumpin'. / Ale, too. Still not you. -Christineressiat # i: \bvilla\b # o: I am currently re-evaluating my opinion of those in the villa by listening to them, thanks to the annonymous villa donors! o: The villa chat channel is where all of the exploiters and otherwise cool people hang out. I know, I'm one of them. # o: Villa - Where the 1337 hang out. The richest 1% of KoL can't be wrong # o: I have been asked by someone in the villa to say that they are great and generous players, and anything but exploiters. I don't know first hand, of course. # #